Random Musings

I've moved!

2007-01-15T12:23:00.000+08:00

For those who still visit this space- although I think it would be almost none, or you, this random blog surfer,

I have moved. (Yeah, since like half a year ago.)

I moved for reasons quite private, and since these problems do not bother me anymore, well.

http://sinkingships.wordpress.com

Have a good day.

Evil thoughts

2006-07-16T22:15:00.000+08:00

I had a couple of evil thoughts today.

Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, since it was liberating to have all that evil thoughts at once. And since you're supposed to feel guilty thinking about such stuff, because you know you shouldn't, why not feel guilty at one go?

Pretty warped theory, I know.

Anyway, I was sitting in the car, thinking about all these deliciously evil thoughts when Mum opened up the sunroof as she sped down the highway-

And was overcomed by this burning desire to stick my head up and shout, "FUCK YOU ALL HUMANS!"

But of course, I didn't, not wanting to scare the poor lady out of her wits.

So I just continued sitting in the car, mouth clammed shut, basking in my wonderfully evil thoughts.

journey ends

2006-07-14T00:59:00.000+08:00

Cruising down the highway at night in the rain,

a love song humming in the background

as the streetlights whizz past -

You'd wish the journey never ended too.

Every now and then I'd think to myself, "I'd wish this moment never ends," and heave an inward sigh, knowing that that very thought could have jolly well deprived me a moment from that moment.

Memories, bittersweet and strange.

rat race

2006-07-12T22:15:00.000+08:00

"The trouble with the rat race is even if you win, you're still a rat."

-Lily Tomlin

How sadly true.

If that is the case, can I be a hamster.. Please?

days like these.

2006-07-12T00:03:00.000+08:00

You should listen to your heart, not the voices in your head.

Mnemophobia, a fear of memories.

My life just kind of fell together, and in a very nice way.

:) Just random stuff I came across today.

I love days like these.

Neek week

2006-07-10T23:32:00.000+08:00

Happy Anniversary to us Kalipook! One year since being best-friends-for-the-day. :)

Full of shit, but cheers to friendship.

Anyway, I'm aching all over from the climbing with Mr N just now.

And I solemnly declare this week

Neek Week, or Nick Wick, or Neek Wee Week
Whichever you prefer.

And yes, I've missed my best friend like hell.

glorious weekend

2006-07-08T19:19:00.000+08:00

Last night was major chilling session with my co-writer, Gordon in town. :) It was, to say the least, entertaining. Seriously I always thoroughly enjoy his company. Our joint blog is still under construction, so you guys have to give us some time to get it fully up and running.

So anyway, it was more or less me and Gordon, then Fern came down for awhile, Benji came down awhile, Kaiwei came down and lastly (as usual - no surprises here) Chee. It was seriously just reminiscing and catching up, talking rubbish, eating alot.

And Gordon was cracking me up half the time while I rolled my eyes at him the other half. :)

Nice.

Now I'm blogging from KQ's laptop (I'm at his place) and my freshly manicured nails keep getting stuck under the uber thin keyboard. ARGH. The new colour on my nails is black with silver tips. :) I like. I vaguely remember blogging about my nails the last time I was here too. Gosh.

So tonight should be chilling with the two idiots, and maybe meeting Alan later in the night.

Oh the glorious weekend.

:)

PS Mickey's whining like a sick dog, looking at me with those sad eyes. Oh. He IS a sick dog.

elusive

2006-07-06T17:48:00.000+08:00

Word of the day:

ATAS.

Thanks to the elusive (Or so Lynn says) Mr N.

atas

2006-07-06T17:33:00.000+08:00

Word of the day:
atas

I share your excitement.
Let's wait for this to blow over,
then maybe I'll start talking again.

sighs, again.

boo.

2006-07-06T16:24:00.000+08:00

I seriously need to make more effort.

sighs

excited

2006-07-05T21:25:00.000+08:00

Me and Gordon are starting a blog together!

How exciting! :)

Robert Frost

2006-07-04T21:26:00.000+08:00

Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

-Robert Frost

How nice it is to find one that fits like a good bra. :)

She finally let the tears flow freely, as she ran.
She cried through the pain, the hurt, the remorse, the anger.
She cried through the pain, the stitches, the cramps.
She cried in the shower
And let the water wash away the emotions.

She will not cry... again.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Enough is enough.

sailing.

2006-07-04T19:06:00.000+08:00

Sailing nationals start tomorrow. Good luck sailors.
Just sail your best, just as we did.

All those bittersweet memories.

Some days are just not yours.

reflection

2006-07-03T21:23:00.000+08:00

This will probably be one of my most honest entries yet.

Let's come clean.

I don't think I've screwed up badly, because there are still opportunities and chances available. I just, with my very own hands, cut them by half. No, make that more than half.

And so every night, before I go to bed, all these lost chances haunt me, they mock me. They laugh themselves silly at me for allowing myself to get myself stuck in this situation. They taunt me, expecting me to retaliate. But they know I won't.

Because I can't.

I did it myself. With my own hands.

Forgiveness. They say it's not easy to forgive others, but honestly, it's harder to forgive yourself.

I want to look back at this entry to laugh at how silly I was then, to worry about things that have already happened. I want to, in a year's time, tell myself that this current point in time was the lowest and would never happen again -

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

:)

new chapter

2006-07-03T18:59:00.000+08:00

My nose is acting up again, coupled with a huge headache and a brewing sore throat. Definitely not good.

Maybe it's vacation withdrawal symptoms - I totally agree, but oh well, it's mixed feelings I suppose.

The excitement of a new school, new faces, new stuff to learn, coupled with the fear of not being able to fit in, not making new friends, not performing well academically.

They say give in your best, and you'll be rewarded. But seriously, what is my best? How is it ever enough?

Then the stress sets in. Seriously I've never felt so much pressure on myself to perform academically before. In the past I've always been cool with everything.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Learn from your mistakes, pick up and go.

And at full speed, this time round.

***

On a separate note, I think it's wonderful to have Mr N come over just for dinner, squeezing in half and hour just to pop by and say "hi".

No big fuss, just a "hi-bye" thing and it's made my day. :)

Sometimes it's the little things that keep us going. Thank you my dear.

silent dances

2006-07-02T23:06:00.000+08:00

The wind blew our hair playfully around our faces as we danced silently to the tune in our hearts.

It was a lovely weekend, almost like it didn't happen at all.

Thanks. <3

cruise

2006-07-02T21:10:00.000+08:00

The weekend was really magical, feels like it didn't even happen at all. :)

Everything was so nicely planned it was really a great end to the 8 month long vacation I've had. (Argh, school starts.)

Our hair danced playfully around our faces as we danced silently to the tune in our hearts - under the moonlit sky.

And then dancing the night away. Cha-cha, Salsa, Swing, Line - we learnt them all. As well as R and B in the club.

The sunrise, the sunset

The tanning, the jacuzzi, the pool

The midnight chick-flicks, the soccer matches

The endless buffets

The slot machines and bingo

Life

2006-06-29T23:48:00.000+08:00

Is unpredictable, cliched it might sound.

Just as we think we've got it in the bag, that everything'll be just fine, nicely planned out and you start to relax -
you reel back the twenty steps you have taken.

For it is part and parcel of life,
Inevitably (Uncle D would be proud of me).

We take it in our stride, but nobody can deny the pain.

As I try to put everything into perspective, I find that I can't.
It seems so blown out of proportion, so distorted.

So I SUMO. (Shut up, move on)

Have a good weekend, all.

Nick guest blogs

2006-06-29T22:22:00.000+08:00

Nick guest blogs.

hello all. =)

miss me?

We're going on a cruise! Yay!

You really shouldn't distract me by "being so amazingly beautiful" (steffie said)
ahem. OK. =)

haha. Self praise is .... "international disgrace" (steffie said)

We're listening to techno now. Like Ah Lians and Ah Bengs in centro.

Steffie interrupts - WHAT THE FUCKERTY FUCK IS CENTRO?!

wah lau. Its my generation thing lor. The techno club near merlion there. boom cha cha boom cha cha. bangs head.

Steffie interrupts - (I should stop interrupting but this is disturbing AND it's my blog so I'm the God, ah, Goddess here)
(a) BOOM CHA CHA is bloody cha cha lah idiot. Techno goes em chi em chi em chi can anot?
(b) YOU DON'T BANG YOUR KNNBCCB HEAD LAH, you should NOD, you know, they NOD their head with the beat. EM CHI EM CHI!

...... WHATEVER lA STEF.

P.S I love you too.

sunblock

2006-06-28T12:13:00.001+08:00

You just let it sit in your head for awhile, and it'll slowly clear up.

Like the clouds in the sky blocking the sun.

Sometimes, you should apply sun-block first instead of waiting for the clouds.

I found my sun-block, after a long time. And am thankful. :)

sunblock

2006-06-28T12:13:00.000+08:00

knobs

2006-06-27T23:37:00.000+08:00

"It's entirely my fault that you have to go through this but you have to be strong, okay?"

What the fuck.

If you know it's your fault why do you keep making the same mistakes, over and over?
You can't expect me to be strong just because you say so, you know. I'm not some kind of machine where there are knobs you can turn - From "Hurt" to "Strong".

Or even "Okay".

I hate being caught in this mess, being the torn, frayed rope in this silly game of tug-of-war.
I understand the complications/implications, but seriously, there is much more you can do to salvage the broken hearts.

This world doesn't revolve around me, but certainly not around you either.

Having this splitting headache now which definitely spoiled my mood for meeting up with Mr N for soccer. Sorry hun, if I feel well enough at 3am I'll see you alright? (Seems like an interesting match) :(

Dinner with Hana was good though, before the stupid headache kicked in together with the grumps. She was delighted with her earrings. :) Lynn: I haven't even given you the stuff from HK! That's how long I haven't seen you!

And the flowers sitting on my table seriously made my day. I like the girls from work, and Uncle D as well.

It scares me, the uncertainty.

flowers

2006-06-27T22:46:00.000+08:00

It was a lovely day at work, the girls gave me chocolate and flowers. :) So sweet.

Have a nice evening, all.

comforting

2006-06-27T01:37:00.000+08:00

He vaguely remembers me. :)
Pity the rest weren't at home.

empty playgrounds

2006-06-26T02:07:00.000+08:00

The lost memories play hide-and-seek

in the empty playgrounds.

empty space

2006-06-26T01:16:00.000+08:00

You just have to stop and put things into perspective.
Control.
Do you?

Empty bucket-
to be filled;
when the words
can't flow.

Empty spaces-
lost memories;
so damned right
weary, dulled.

Empty stones-
don't exist;
pondering and raving
too hard.

Every person is there to teach you something.

I had a (foot)ball of a time watching soccer just now. Interesting, since I have never been very much interested in soccer. Wonder why they don't telecast sailing races?

For being that
empty bucket in the
empty space and the insignificance of
empty stones.

Empty space?

Good night, all.

"The paradox of asking a masked man who he is."

2006-06-24T22:14:00.000+08:00

I had so much ~~fun~~ shopping in Bangkok it was just mad mad mad!

Seriously, I haven't shopped so much in my life, except maybe the HK trip but that was littered with sightseeing along the way.

This time it was just EAT SHOPPING SLEEP SHOPPING EAT SHOPPING SLEEP SHOPPING and EAT SHOPPING SLEEP SHOPPING EAT SHOPPING SLEEP SHOPPING, um, you get the idea.

And the best part was you get to bargain, so it's quite fun actually. :)

I went with THE ultimate shopping queen, Auntie L, so it was even better cause she not only gives advice, she bargains AND shops more so there is hardly any guilt involved. ;) OH and expenses are paid because Mummy was there as well.

HAHA. All girls trip. I'd do it again.

Joy's pram was another plus, up to the point where it just toppled over with all the shopping bags hanging on it and the poor girl still in it, giving her a huge fright. When it happened a second time she didn't even flinch. I think she got used to it so we carried on hanging our shopping bags on her pram anyway. HAHA.

But Joy can be such a pain in the ass sometimes. When she throws her little tempers, or when she plays childish games you can't scold her for because she IS a child and especially in the mornings when you want to sleep.

Then again she's a great alarm clock. Makes you want to come out of bed to kill her while she does her silly dances and sings her silly songs on your bed.Or chase her out of the room, whichever you prefer, although I sincerely would choose the former.

And thus, I loved the trip, although we met with bad tuk-tuk drivers which almost got us killed. (That story for another day)

I shall post up pictures of my loot (since almost everything was a steal) tomorrow when my sister loads them up. :)

World peace!!

I miss my girls!
Mambo on Wednesday?

excited

2006-06-20T23:33:00.000+08:00

I'm going to Bangkok tomorrow!
Yay!!

Shopping shopping shopping!

Miss me in the meantime!

With love,
Steffie
xxoo

whee!!

2006-06-19T21:50:00.000+08:00

Head is throbbing, think I'm falling sick for real.

But the world is great because I bought not one, but two little black dresses today! And a pair of gold heels, which were eventually sponsored by mum because I was giving this speech about how poor students are and how school'll be starting in awhile so I wouldn't have any income since I would quit my job soon, complete with the sad little puppy eyed look. (Is it me or is that an incredibly long sentence?)

Shopping is soo tiring but satisfying as well.

excuses.

2006-06-19T11:19:00.000+08:00

Called in sick for work today, nose is a little runny and I'm coughing. More importantly I haven't found anything to wear to the wedding reception tomorrow. Good enough reasons not to go to work. :) Must go shopping.

Bangkok trip in 2 days! Can hardly wait.

Sharyl is back already! Had to climb out of bed this morning. Early mornings are really not my cup of tea, because I drink Milo.

But I'm glad she's back, chattering away about how the traffic in Beijing is so scary because the cars don't stop for pedestrians and vice versa. And boasting about her bargaining skills.

Her bargaining skills definitely beat mine, so I shall stick to her in Bangkok. :)

Have a good day, all.

musings

2006-06-18T23:26:00.000+08:00

"...It's like trying to explain physics to a lemon."

Exactly how I feel now - exasperated.

I can hardly "achieve a grasp of the nature, significance, or explanation of (that) something" and it's making me go round in circles, hitting dead ends and generally annoying the hell out of me, if you haven't realised.

I want to scream and shout and rant and take it out on innocent babies (okay maybe not), but there is no point, because I can't. Because there is nobody to blame but my-fucking-self.

There are points in life where you just regret your actions and you think to yourself, "Why the hell did I make that decision?" I believe I have said this before, but reiteration never hurt anyone.

Anyway, this is not meant to be angsty or anything, just filled with regret. A whole truckload of "WHY"s and ARGHs, if you do understand, although half of the time people don't.

"Think too far, and it will always seem damn bleak"
"Better to enjoy the present"
I agree. But sometimes you just cannot NOT think of the future, it's just there.

Watched V for Vendetta today, must say I enjoyed it quite abit. And I have to announce that I didn't fall asleep so it says quite alot about the show. Thought abit about it, could almost write an essay.

I miss lit classes. I miss PC, Gothic and even Silas Marner (Okay maybe I'm lying here).

I digress, I remember Silas Marner lessons as the worse Lit lessons a student could ever have, especially on hot, sticky, sleepy Monday afternoons where the air would be thick with 'Z's and Ms K would make us write diligently in our logbooks. SILAS MARNER, the old weaver who lost his faith in God and found a little girl named Eppie that the Math teacher thought was cute because she had gold curls.

I liked V for Vendetta and it had nothing to do with Silas Marner.

I lost money at mahjong last night. Alot more to learn. One day I will be mahjong queen.

I'm trying to imagine Mr N in a leotard and it's highly tickling. :)

Sharyl's coming back from Beijing at 5plus am later. I so miss her, although I'll never admit it in her face. I'll just hug her and tell her I love her in my irritating voice so she'll get irritated. :) But she knows I love her so. HAHA.

The paragraphs have no link.

Oh yes, been wanting to say this.

We can't ever catch NOW because Now is Now and would never be the actual Now that we're talking about. Am I making sense?

Anyway, have a good week all.

ps. I'm thinking of taking up something new, whether a sport or language or skill. Any suggestions? :)

wakeboarding

2006-06-16T22:00:00.000+08:00

Wakeboarding today was fun! :)
Although the rain was pretty heavy and it was cold. And I fell flat on my face thrice I think. Haa. Weilyn and Fern were having fun laughing at me. Bah, annoying people. But I love them still.

Anyway, went to town with Weilyn after. It was damn stupid. This Weilyn is like full of rubbish all the time, so we were like making ALOT of noise in the fitting rooms, screaming at each other. She bought this lovely corset top though.

Tried on this top at Guess that I quite liked, make that LIKED ALOT, (AND ON SALE SOMEMORE) but didn't get. I shall go look at it tomorrow again. Hurrmphs. That is if I go to town. HURRMPHS!

Having this Barney talk with Walter now, it's quite funny. Walter never ever fails to brighten up my day with his crap. It's amazing how many irrelavant and insane thoughts go through his mind. :)

I feel:
odd furball running in photograph attracting stares.

I am really starting to get bored of here. Time to move.

blah

2006-06-15T23:21:00.000+08:00

A daughter is something you discard after some time, deciding that you don't need her in your life. You exclude her completely, together with her siblings, because things haven't worked out for you.

You can change your entire life, but she can't change a parent.

Of course, she's your pet daughter.
Animals have the SPCA. Precisely, there is no SPCD.

:)

Changes tone.

Thank you anyway, for making my day again and again. :) It just brightens up the day to look up when you're busy and find that there's somebody there who bothers.

I hope you're feeling better. There are other things in life than her, there are other people that matter more. Maybe you should learn to let go..

Changes tone.

Oh fuck, look who's talking. :)

life's good.

2006-06-14T22:40:00.000+08:00

I went down to the roadshow today at Raffles Place, and I so did not enjoy myself. I think I shall just stick to staying in the shop, making my handphone straps and charm bracelets. AND enjoying the air-con, not forgetting the fact that I get to use nice toilets, unlike the smelly-got-to-walk-so-far ones at Raffles.

And at the shop there's always Uncle D to talk to. :) And Joyce to whine at.

I think the people at the shop spoil me, not that I'm complaining. Like how I just whined a little about wanting to eat ice cream and Uncle D walked all the way to the hawker center to get me some. :) What a nice, sweet, lovable old man.

And another nice, sweet, lovable not-so-old man bought me dinner last night, because I was grumpy and tired. I seriously cannot understand all these weird customers.

I have yet to see the thrill of entering a shop AT closing, keeping all it's extremely hungry and tired staff at work, making them strain to smile at you when all they want to do is go home and rest.

But it takes one nice, fuss-free customer and one nice, handsome (coughs) person to bring you dinner all the way from the other side of the island to make your day sometimes.

See, life ain't that horrible.

:)

sunday morning rain is falling

2006-06-11T13:19:00.000+08:00

Good morning/afternoon.
Weekend's almost over. :( pouts, the Weilyn way.

I worked Friday night, which was a pretty enriching experience. But my nose and eyes were dead by the time I knocked off, and all the smoke was giving me a massive headache. It was pretty good pay though, for all the harrassment (or so they say) and the enormous amounts of slacking there was.

Anyway, Chinatown is this insanely slow place. Everything seems to be going in slow motion. Retirement village, seriously. Haa. There's a reason why it's called Chinatown I suppose. Pretty cool place to be wandering around in on a lazy Saturday afternoon.

Mahjong was pretty good as well, although I was about to fall asleep in the last round and the shiny tiles were making my eyes go wooooozy.

I am supposed to meet the two idiots now, but it seems like it's going to rain AND they don't seem to be answering the phone. Haha. IDIOTS.

:) WHEE.

Sunday morning rain is falling.

fridays

2006-06-09T16:39:00.000+08:00

Nice manicures,
just as I love Fridays,
innocent children,
tiaras -

And thee.

I miss you best friend!

and

I WANT A MACDONALDS BIRTHDAY PARTY OKAY?

if i die

2006-06-08T00:15:00.000+08:00

So instead of mambo-ing I decided to run and swim. I am turning into a very good girl. :) Beams. But the heart's itching a little, still.

Anyway, while running I was thinking, what would I do if I knew I was going to die? And then I decided I would:
(a) Split my money (however little) among my sis, mum, dad and charity.
(b) Give away all my stuff, old toys, books, shoes, clothes.. Everything, to people I think would like them, or need them.
(c) Write letters to people that mattered to me, or still do.

And then I thought, why not start writing the letters now? If anything, it'll help me find out who I am - getting in touch and thinking about the people who actually mattered/matter in my life. And get me one step closer, to discover who I really am.

It's funny how we think we know ourselves, but ultimately it's ourselves we don't know. Like how I'll never know how I really would react in a situation until I face it, and realise it's totally different from what I thought I would do, if you get what I mean.

Boy, that's hell alot of "I"s in a single paragraph, but fuck, this blog is about ME, isn't it. :)

So, as I was saying, why not begin with the letters now? But not today, I suppose, since I'm dead tired but I still wanna go watch a few of my vcds.

Oh, I just wanted to add as well that I hate being compared to. That, for another day.

Love. And good night.

funandromantic

2006-06-07T22:35:00.000+08:00

:) Because it's more fun and romantic this way.

Mambo?

two

2006-06-04T21:02:00.000+08:00

Life is full of these random things,
Like:

How Denise's shoes don't match,

Me and Sharyl share some sort of resemblence,

Chloe and Denise love fried chicken wings,

How the balloons in Disneyland threatened to pull me away.

I teared while watching the serial today, then fell asleep. Only to be woken up by Mr N, saying, "Oh I called for nothing, just comforting to hear your voice."

Sometimes it takes things like that to realise that life may not be as bad as it seems. And that maybe God gave you crappy stuff to appreciate the nice stuff He gives. Like how they say you don't exactly feel happiness until you experience sadness. Lovely phonecall to make up for an unpleasant afternoon.

And maybe... just maybe she'd like to thank you for:

Turning on the light while she walks down the stairs.
Giving her the entire bed to sleep comfortably.
Caring for her when shes drunk.
Freezing your fingers off while shes cold.
Resisting telling her "I told you so" because it would only make her feel worse.
Forgiving her when you want to go mad at her.
And the list goes on and on.

It's wonderful to know.

"We'll just make a concious effort to remember that we spent an amazing day together that prompted us to make a promise to be there for each other, have faith in each other and generally, have that special attachment to each other. The date is not that particularly important in comparison to the things you learn, and yet a constant reminder of that promise you've made. "

facades

2006-06-04T15:11:00.000+08:00

Curly fries, nuggets, wings and lemon tea at 3am while watching VCDs (the series I'm currently addicted to) is detrimental to the waistline but wonderful to the soul.

In other words, it makes me happy. :)

Sometimes I don't get them. I really don't.

Normal, reasonable, sane people do not say NO to rides home because of their egos. I say so, although I'm really glad there were no shouting matches this afternoon.

I hate awkward silences, pretending that everything is fine, "oh how's she's grown!", (have you heard of non-growing normal 4 year olds? idiots.). So I stuff my face with food anyway.
Because my mummy says it's rude to talk with your mouth full.

Damn you and your façades.

Nick says, "Why are you not writing about me? Please write about me."
And NO, your name will not be in itallics, bold or in font size 100. Dream on.

Have a good afternoon.

i won't worry my life away

2006-06-02T17:44:00.000+08:00

I'm on a roll I'm on a roll!

Three entries in a day! :) I must quite like this new blogskin.

Anyway, I just woke up, with like a few hundred missed calls on my phone from Fern, my almost dinner date, before she cancelled on me when I was asleep. Hurrmphs.

I also woke up with a new mani/pedi, thanks to Auntie L. ;) I'm her first customer, which is pretty nerve wrecking, since she asked, *randomly picking up a bottle, "What is this for ah?" and "What's the next step?". HAHAA. But I fell asleep anyway, after the massage.

After I came home from the morning, we went out for lunch at Funan, to get stuff, and then we went to Katong to look for a space. hurr. A SPACE A SPACE! But the space was too small, so we didn't rent it.

And the space was literally, A SPACE. So funny.

I won't worry my life away.

dumb and dumber

2006-06-02T11:25:00.000+08:00

TGIF ALL! :)

I'm in this like, hyper mood this MORNING because I feel exceptionally accomplished. For one, it's still MORNING (technically, 11.30am) and I've been to a thousand places, and done stuff. *beams.

Went to Harbourfront in the morning to pick Auntie L up, travelled to Bugis for breakfast, sent her to school, then Clementi to pay school fees, thereafter Concourse to buy clover for grandpa (and to collect pay, but unfortunately Uncle Robert wasn't around), bought blueberry muffins from the shop in Concourse (my favourite, chicken potato bun comes after) and brought them to Joo Chiat for Grandpa and boy am I feeling happy. :)

And now I'm home, blogging on my new blogskin!! I'm like so happy in a weird manner.

But it's okay I'm entitled to be happy because it's FRIDAY! and I'm off the entire weekend. TGIofF!

I am planning to post some pictures up very soon, because, it's a new blogskin and it's entitled to be pretty.

It's funny how I was going to text Hana and Lynn last night before I went to bad when Hana texted to ask how I was doing and Lynn texted this morning to say that she passed her Math tests. :) They got to me before I did! You know why teletubbies have little things sticking out of their heads? That's how they communicate, like how the three of us can :) Whee!

WHY AM I ALWAYS THE MISTAKE!!

Fernie Wernie. Interesting.
"They're like dumb and dumber, or rather, fuck and fucker." Classic. Haa.

stop teasing me

2006-06-02T01:00:00.000+08:00

Finally a new blogskin, after god knows how long. :)

I don't exactly fancy green, but oh wells, I think this one's quite nice.

YOU! STOP TEASING ME!

finally

2006-06-01T20:04:00.000+08:00

Right, so the last weekend was jammed packed with activities, the last week was this huge emotional roller coaster ride that has left me gasping for air.

Last weekend was wonderful, I:

Wakeboard-ed,
which was indeed a great experience. I wouldn't mind trying it again. Make that, I'll definitely do it again. Gave me the rush like when I was sailing. The sun, the sea. I think that's what really makes me happy sometimes.

Shopped,
With my two dears, Weilyn and Fernie. But we were so tired it just ended up as a huge stoning session down Orchard. Sniggers.

Played mahjong,
At Ching's, won a pathetic, miserable 2 dollars and 50 cents. But it was fun all the same. Now Kevin's itching for more. HHAAHHAA. Your neh neh lah. But I paid for that all-night mahjong session at work the next day, being completely and utterly zombie-fied.

Clubbed,
At Coccolatte, made a few horrible decisions, that has made a life a living hell for me. Oh wells. The music was not bad, according to others. Sorry i was too busy being drunk.

Had dinner,
with Nick's family, which was surprisingly easier than I thought it would have been. ;)

AND

Worked,
I WORKED THE ENTIRE WEEKEND! Argh, I was so fucking tired lah!

Anyway, this week was great,

Monday was work, then surprise birthday party for Nick at my place. No major screwups, up to the point where the people (as in his friends) got the venue wrong. Haa! It was damn funny. Led Nick to the Clubhouse, only to find it empty. "Strange," I thought, "his friend just called to say that they were waiting at the Clubhouse."

Called him and he said, "Don't tell me we're at the fucking wrong condo, it's The Bayshore right?"

"No.. actually it's Bayshore Park."

Bursts out laughing. So much planning only to find out that it's the wrong condo. HAHAHAHA.

So loser can?!
But I'm glad things turned out fine after that. :)

Tuesday was peace-making day, I felt like the UN.

Wednesday, yesterday, was Nicks birthday, caught one and a HALF movies, had dinner at Fish and Co, hit Butter Factory.

Slept till 2 this afternoon, it was great.

Oh wells, I don't like being haunted either.

I hate myself sometimes, for making wrong decisions. And if you think about it. Every decision you make DOES change your life.

happy birthday

2006-05-31T03:24:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday! :)

tgiftmr

2006-05-25T23:29:00.000+08:00

TGIF tomorrow. :)

angst

2006-05-24T10:00:00.000+08:00

Unbelievably the first word I said this morning was "FUCK!!" (yes, say that in capital letters and two exclamation marks).

Pretty much sums up what I'm feeling now.

Everybody is entitled to an angsty post now and then, because if everything were so beautiful it wouldn't be called Life, it'll just be called Bullshit.

You don't fucking tell me to get a grip on my life if you don't even have one. Seriously I don't see much grip in yours if you have to keep borrowing money from me. Fuck you.

I've said this, and I'll say it again.
I don't hate you, but you're making it hard for me to love you.

Thanks all. Have a nice day.

ps. And I fucking missed my driving class. $58 fucking dollars and I was supposed to book my test date today. Great.
Oh and it's only 10am.

give thanks

2006-05-24T02:02:00.000+08:00

I love the pool at night, because I can act like it's all mine and not give a fucking damn if my bikini is out of place.The only boo point is that there is no sun, so I can't tan.

But I still love it's serenity, the quiet-ness and the calmness of the water.

Give thanks for the little things in life.

Like private pools and durian cakes. :)

tgif

2006-05-19T23:18:00.000+08:00

TGIF

convenience.

2006-05-17T02:41:00.000+08:00

I was just reading through all my old entries and realised that I am definitely somebody different from who I used to be. Which may not necessarily be a bad thing.

We could just go on talking and talking and not stop, about everything, anything as well as nothing in particular. It's nice to have company like that because you can say whatever that's on the top of your mind without having to bother whether you'd offend the other person.

And I had a great day at work and at lesson today, we shall disregard the awful start.

I like MLTR because it makes you feel all nice and at peace with the world. Although 25 minutes is just plain depressing. 25 minutes is not even half an hour can. But it's so true, how life IS that cruel. You could be just 2 seconds late, for that matter.

Wouldn't it be even worse for the girl? Having to live with somebody else the rest of her life when her heart is with him? Boy I'm sorry you are 25 minutes too late.

Why on earth take the vows when you're not ready to commit? Oh vell.

True love hardly exists, convenience does.

Marriages of convenience, I wonder how many couples out there are like that? Why the hell I'm thinking of all this rubbish I have no idea. Just typing whatever that comes to my mind now.

Like,
"White."
"Clouds."
"Angels."
"Doesn't exist."
"You're not supposed to say doesn't exist!"
"Fine, beautiful."
"Oh, you."

Good Night.

frustration

2006-05-16T09:19:00.000+08:00

Good morning humans! :)

It's a lovely day because ALL the 10.20 lessons at the driving centre have been snapped up in less than a day, leaving me with nice and early timeslots like 8.10. That's great isn't it? Beams.

And the website is so slow that I'll be late for lesson if I take a bus. Even better, I'll have to spend money on cab. Smashing!

Patience, Steffie, patience.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! There. I feel better already. my ass.

Breathe in, out, in, out. In Out In Out IN Out IN OUT IN OUT INOUT INOUT IN IN IN IN

BOOM!

Steffie explodes.

Goodbye humans :(

amazed

2006-05-14T10:44:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I amaze myself.

As Weilyn puts it, "I can never guess what the fuck you're going to do next."
(Oh poor Kalipook is sick and JR is trying to get me down to WORK today. No thanks, I'm heading for a breakdown if I step into that Perfectios Irritatinnus-infested place.)

I'm quite proud of myself, I've managed to stay away from that vile, liver-failure inducing liquid for sometime now, even when I club. Haa. It's damn odd to be in a club when you're hardly high though. Everything seems too clear. Like, every 15 minutes I look around those high faces and think to myself, "I'm. so. fucking. sober." Haa.

Oh and I solemnly declare Fernie as THE Crazy Nutcase. I hope you don't die early. Be like me. You must ABSTAIN!!

Whee, but I love Fern's and Alan's company though. <3 Although sitting in between them in a car makes me feel vaguely of peanut butter and jam. No, not yummy. Go figure.

I've got this couple of awful blisters on my feet. RARR

Okay, time to go pack up now. SAILING SAILING.

perfectios irritatinnus

2006-05-13T21:30:00.000+08:00

The scientific name for Aunties is Perfectios Irritatinnus I bet.

I nearly lost my temper yesterday and today, thank god for the off tomorrow or I might just blow. What the fuck is wrong with all these aunties? The thought of me being something like that when I grow up is driving me nuts.

But I do have a soft spot for old ladies. ;) Everytime I see a dialect speaking old lady I start to talk to her. And the best part is she would buy anything that I say looks nice on her.

"Jit gai swee."
"Okay wa ai jit gai"

HAHA.

I'm going to meet Fern now. WHEE!

of life.

2006-05-11T16:51:00.000+08:00

One of the most satisfying things in life is sitting on a beach chair, watching the day go by, munching on chocolate cookies dipped in peanut butter, reading a book you've always wanted to read while listening to your favourite tunes on your ipod.

:)

sleepover

2006-05-11T13:32:00.000+08:00

Sleepover was literally SLEEPover. We didn't even last till 2am, which was pretty funny. So all we did was to go over to Fernie's to, well, SLEEPOVER.

But it was fun, all the same, all the crapping, lying on Fern's queen sized bed, COMPLAINING about how Weilyn could now be Alan's best friend since both of them TAKE UP ALOT OF SPACE.

And breakfast was lovely, Fernie got up bright and early to cook us breakfast! I swear it was damn sweet of her to do that since the 3 of us soo cannot be bothered to wake up in the morning, much less PREPARE breakfast. (In HK, the 3 of us were perpetually late for the day's plans.) hurr.

:) Thanks Fernie Darling! The pictures are on her blog, if you want to see. Haa.

Anyway, when I got home just now I saw the prettiest thing ever. The baby cot has arrived!! :) :) :) My neighbour just gave birth a couple of days back. She hasn't gotten home yet, but the baby cot has arrived!!

Haa, I have no idea why the hell I'm so excited, but, I suppose it'll be nice to watch a baby grow up, no?

I hope he doesn't cry too loudly though, after all I'm his neighbour. **evil laughter.

Okay I shall go tan now. :)

randomness

2006-05-09T20:40:00.000+08:00

Lets do a random thoughts today.

I gave my mum a Mother's Day treat today because I'm working the entire weekend. She had fun I swear, since she ordered every single thing she fancied on the menu. Haa, she AND Auntie Linda. Spent less than what I expected though. **phew. But I'm glad she enjoyed herself.

I'm lucky to have a Mum who ~~doesn't mind~~prefers food. Makes things much easier since the way to her heart is through her tummy.

Because (you know you should never ever start a sentence with a because) I treated them to lunch Auntie L got me a nice top from Esprit and my mum bought me, erm, stickers. HAHA, I KNOW stickers are 20 yesterdays ago, but give me a break, the stickers were amazingly pretty. So it was a pretty (literally) good deal.

I had driving this morning and I got horned at TWICE. All these drivers are so scary, don't you see the hugeass 'L' on the car I'm driving? Huh HUH?! I'm just waiting for the day I get my license and then I get horned at 200 times or something. Haa quite funny.

And I found out - I don't like to be overtaken. Everytime someone overtakes me I get this urge to catch up and overtake that person. Bad, bad girl. You will get into trouble.

I spent the entire afternoon lazing around, nursing my poor little nose that seems to be quite bent on being uber-ly runny. Was reading the book that I've wanted to read since aeons ago, so it was pretty satisfying spending some time alone. I mean, after being surrounded by people and talking to them everday at work, the silence becomes so comforting.

To think I used to be so afraid of being alone.

Until I found out being alone doesn't equate to being lonely.

Just blame it on the weatherman.

I'll pity the weatherman.
Imagine:

"Sorry our Roti Prata has sold out."
"No more Roti Prata?"
"Yah, sorry."
"DAMN KNNBCCB THAT WEATHERMAN! BLOODY FUCKER NO MORE ROTI PRATA!"

And then the weatherman will be like wtfbbq.

Actually, if limosines were extremely long we wouldn't need drivers. You could just get in the back seat, walk through the limo, and then get out of the front seat, which would be where you wanted to go.
:)

Sometimes it's just really nice to let every single thought and worry leave you and let yourself go wild, racing up spiderwebs in mini-skirts, sitting on swings trying to touch the sky.

Its nice to sit on a swing, going higher and higher until you think you can reach the sky but it goes down again.

I want to go sailing! :) Ride the waves, feel the wind.

Anyway, tomorrow! SLEEPOVER! Whoots. :) :)

I want a new blogskin. Any nice soul out there who doesn't mind designing me one contact me alright? I want one with lots of space for my entries and a pretty retro picture, like those old coca cola posters. :)
stefanie.kua@gmail.com
God knows if anybody reads this blog, much less bother to design me a blogskin.
But, well, no harm trying.

Good night humans!

whee!

2006-05-09T00:49:00.000+08:00

I've been trying to make an effort to exercise, I hope it keeps up. :)

WHEE!

2006-05-08T02:22:00.000+08:00

It's insanely comforting and nice to have someone give you a single stalk of purple rose in the middle of a particularly tiring and testing day.
When you least expect it as well.

Thanks it was really really really REALLY sweet of you to do that. :) Totally made my day.
Totally.

Dinner was on Uncle R again, he really is a good person. And rich, I must add.

Anyway, I have a truckload of things to blog about, but not now.

I was Friendster-surfing, and look what I found!
i want to meet stupid, irritating, idiotic, bald, dirty,dumb, impatient, stubborn, bad tempered, bitchy, bossy,vulgar, uncouth, insensitive, self centred girls to remind me to stay single.

What a gem. :)

din tai fung

2006-05-07T00:52:00.000+08:00

I absolutely lurrve Din Tai Fung, Fernie and Kalipook. :) See our satisfied faces and the empty plates in front of us?

Thank God for all the little things that he gives us. Like phonecalls and coincidences.

Celebrate life.

2006-05-06T01:28:00.000+08:00

Celebrate life. :)

The only way to protect you is to let you get hurt.
Ironic don't you think?

I got my pay today, which was a particularly nice feeling, because.. well, it was after all PAY DAY. Des was going on and on about TGIPD. You may have your TGIF, but I have my TGIPD! **Sticks head up in air, flings hair and walks into wall.

Des brought Chantille to work today, and she was the loveliest thing to have around at 3pm in the afternoon. Since all we had the entire day was this bunch of amazingly super-dee-duperly annoying aunties. Breath of fresh air, that 2 year old. And she keeps going "Mei mei hen mei!" which loosely translated, means "little sister is so pretty!" What an angel. A hyper-active one at that, but an angel all the same.

Cracked me and Weilyn up, no less.

Had a pretty satisfying dinner at NYDC, appetisers, main course and desserts, shared of course, between me and Weilyn. Put two small eaters together and you pay for food meant for one. Seriously, we shared EVERYTHING but desserts. Well, good way to save money. Eat little. :)

Wanted to meet Gordon, but I was feeling kinda tired and drained after that big dinner. Anyhow,

Happy Birthday Gordon! :)
May you stay as happy as you are, this laughing buddha. I miss you much, your funny antics and definitely you on your black sofa and me on my pink one in the SSC room. The times we both get earfuls from the rest of the Exco people (especially Mr President-no-more who'd go "Steffie.." and "STFU Gordon") for being disruptive (to say the least) at meetings, you calling me a workaholic, you getting scolded by Ms Kon for "blatantly sleeping in class", running away from Math Lectures. Singing Chek Chek Koleh at the LTC campfire and me and Fiona teaching you how to sing Father Abraham AT the campfire itself. And definitely you keeping me company with text marathons on those soccer nights.

Happy 19th Birthday and try not to get too many MCs anymore. Surprising how a CLERK in the army can be on MC for so long. Grins. *Coughs*slacker*Coughs*Coughs*

It amazes me how the sweetest thing ever could end up being the scariest yet melt you into goo inside.

Like how flowers eventually wither and die but are such lovely things to receive. Seriously, I never saw how flowers would have such an impact on people until after working at the florists!
Oh the irony.

Good Night humans. <3

PS. Feeling particularly lovey-dovey tonight, pity the outlet is busy.

Night swimming

2006-05-05T01:07:00.000+08:00

One day I will go up to a man on the bus and ask, "Are you truly happy?"

Because it scares me to think that I might be one of them in time to come.

:) But then again I might be too afraid to hear the answer.

What are you looking forward to?

Your next paycheck? Your children growing up? Your wedding day? Your graduation? Your next gathering with loved ones?

In school it was always the holidays. I mean, we lived for weekends, public holidays and school vacations. Now we live for Fridays. Ever heard of TGIF? (Well, for some, it's TGIoff because unlike others, there are some people who actually WORK weekends. argh)

And then, after working for 4 months, I think: "What am I looking forward to?"

Sure, I'm looking forward to my next paycheck.
A little further, I'm looking forward to school.

After that what will I be looking forward to?!

What if I grow up (duh I'd grow up, no WHAT IF I grow up. heh) and found out that there was nothing in life to look forward to anymore?

Yah, I'll look forward to Fridays, look forward to my kid's graduation. What else will there be for me to look forward to? Holidays? Vacations?

Will I be truly happy?

Then again, I think this is pretty weird. What has happiness gotta do with looking forward to something?

:)

I suppose because I wouldn't want my life to be a repeated series of actions. I don't want to be a machine.

I shall ask that man on the bus tomorrow.

***

I had the best off day ever, except for the fact that I missed the outing with the Guides. :(

I slept through the day, sleep being precious because I haven't been sleeping much for a long time and met Fernie for Dinner II at Geylang. :) It was pretty satisfying, the dou jiang you tiao. Grins. (But I'm still having that Din Tai Fung craving. Somebody bring me there to eat ~~tomorrow~~ NOW please!! lol) And I swear Geylang is scary at night if you're a girl. SCARY. rarr.

And then we decided to go night swimming. We went totally mad, doing overhead claps and twinkle twinkle little stars. Go figure. Not training has an adverse effect on the minds of ex-sailors.

Read her blog if you want pictures of me in a bikini. LOL. See Fern, helping you increase readership. HAHA. 15335. I swear I look like a lemon on toothpicks.

:) I still heart fernie although she was flirting with Nick RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.

At least better than behind my back, I suppose. ;)

month

2006-05-04T14:07:00.000+08:00

Me and Hana were particularly tickled by a message Mazlynnah sent that night:

"You have strange serpents here."
"What manner o'thing is your crocodile?"
"'tis a strange serpent."

HAHAHA. Stupid Lepidus.

Nothing left remarkable beneath the visiting moon.

Suddenly I'm overcome by this immense desire to have xiao long baos, dan chao fan and dao sa dumplings from Din Tai Fung.
:) HEH

Anyway, I think it's high time for me to take one week's worth of off.

And then I can have time to do things I want to do:
Sailing,
Windsurfing,
Blading,
Wakeboarding,
Tanning,
Lazing,
SLEEPING.

There never seems to be enough time for me to do what I want to do. How annoying. You see, at least it's A-nnoying not Multi-nnoying. :) Uncle D seriously is uber funny. He makes me and Weilyn crack up all the time. I enjoy work, but I would like more time to myself. 10 hour days at JR's is fun but amazingly time consuming, I wonder why?

I heart off days.

<3 So quick time passes when you're having fun.

the workers creed.

2006-05-03T00:03:00.000+08:00

Thou shalt not lose thy temper at customers.

Thou shalt not say "BU KE YI" loudly when customers ask "xiao jie ke yi gei discount ma?"

Thou shalt not roll thy eyes at customers.

Thou shalt not say "TENG JIU JIU" loudly when customers ask "wo ke yi xuan bie de ye zi ma?"

Thou shalt not speak in english to intimidate chinese-speaking customers that call in.

Thou shalt not give stupid answers to customers that ask stupid questions.

Thou shalt not go pang sai everytime.

Thou shalt not stare at customers with the "WHAT YOU WANT?" face.

Thou shalt not make jokes at customers with Uncle D.

Thou shalt not slack during work.

Thou shalt not keep eating Cheezels.

Thou shalt not go to work late and leave early.

Thou shalt not take 3 consecutive days of off.

Thou shalt not not have fun at work with Kalipook.

:)

Good night humans.

Happy Birthday

2006-05-02T02:27:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Ching! :)

Belated one at that, but yes, I just got home.

jodipicoult.

2006-04-27T01:03:00.000+08:00

I've decided that I'm a fan of Jodi Picoult. The twists in her books are wayyyy cool.. My Sister's Keeper was madly touching (I mean, I was weeping. Duh.) But Perfect Match is brilliant. Shall get Salem Falls next. Trust me, I'm going broke on books.

Shall keep the twist to myself. (Although I'm absolutely dying to share it. heh)

And the way she discusses the greys in life. What is immoral is not always wrong.

***
An excerpt:

At first I fight, trying to ration the air in my lungs. Then they start to burn, a circle of fire beneath my ribs. My wide eyes burst black, and my feet start to thrash, but I am getting nowhere. This is it, I think. Finally.

With that realisation I let my arms go still, and my legs go limp. I feel my body sinking and the water filling me, until I'm curled on the sand at the base of the sea.

The sun is a quivering yellow eye. I get to my feet, and to my great surprise, begin to walk with ease on the bottom of the ocean floor.

See, things are not always as bad as it seems.

***

A level of a house is a story, and we live between the covers of a book.

If I could choose I would choose to live in a fairytale which starts with "Once upon a time" and ends with "And they lived happily ever after." :) I wish there are mermaids or mermen or fairies or dwarfs (like sneezy, sleepy, grumpy, happy, bashful, dopey and doc) or dragons or castles or dancing cutlery or talking teapots and cupboards or princesses or beasts-turned-prince-charmings.

But we know how fairytales don't exist.

You can never be the best in anything because someone else will beat you at it. You'll never be the fairest of them all, or the bravest of all the knights in shining armour. Because Snow White will always be fairer and King Arthur will always be the bravest. Even Peter Pan doesn't have to grow old.

But it's also how only you can have that exact proportion of emotions, actions, reactions and physical attributes that would make you.. well, you. Nobody else in this world would look like a lemon on toothpicks, be all lemony, have a minnie mouse voice and be sufficiently mad to drive her friends up the wall but me. :) Rejoice for who you are, and you'll be happier. Because you are unique. Because there'll always be someone taller, someone smarter, someone thinner, someone more forgiving. Learn to accept you for who you are.

And from there, you'll find your happily ever after. (or so I say) I bet Beauty and her Beast had domestic quarrels like he not putting the toilet seat down, or squeezed the toothpaste from the middle of the tube. See, no happily ever after anyway. Or how Repunzel's prince found her hair too smelly since she only washed her hair twice a week cause it's quite a chore to wash such long hair. (To prove my point that fairytales do not exist, especially the happily ever after part.)

My story is left there, unwritten, waiting for me to fill up the empty pages. And I would fill it up with everything I can, adding illustrations and a dash of colour for good measure.

Good night humans.

Regards,
Your favourite ~~lemony~~ alien. :)

poems

2006-04-25T23:45:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it's hard to find the words.

For you,

I would;
put you in bubble wrap,
keep you safe between the
pockets of air, pretending
you were made of
the most fragile of -
china.

And you,

I know she is a fucking bitch,
I feel your hurt within.
But then again she's not worth angst -
for a rubbish bin.

And you,

I had fun this lovely day,
Although much was spent in slumber.
I hope you feel this way as well -
It takes two to salsa.

And you,

School's never easy,
Nobody said it was.
Hang in there my dearest mum -
We'll soon be done, of course.

And you,

Stop your hacking coughs and colds
Please refrain from coke.
You'll die early if this keeps up -
Or be damned to croak.

Argh, my thoughts are incoherent.
But then again, writing always helps, doesn't it? Thanks for the suggestion. lol.

I've always admired all those people that seem to write random stuff and have it come out beautiful. Like the Sylvia Plath one. Remember? The "happiest on your hands" one? Ya, that's one pretty poem. Too bad she had to put her head in the oven.

All I can do is make the words rhyme. Oh wells.

And Hana, YOU'RE NOT FRENCH!

toyou.

2006-04-25T01:23:00.000+08:00

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favourite things

Suddenly I'm overcome with sadness.

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels
Doorbells and sleighbells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are few of my favourite things

So many "I wishes" going around and around. I wish this, I wish that.

Girls in white dresses and blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silverwhite winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favourite things

What do I always say? Stop and count your blessings? Yes, I do that. But I wish. I wish. I so fucking wish.

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favourite things
And then I wouldn't feel so bad.

I miss the little messages that she'd slip in between my books. The nice colourful pictures that said "Jiayou!" I still keep them. In my drawer, and in my heart.

I just wish you didn't have to suffer so much.

hopelesslyhappy.

2006-04-24T00:55:00.000+08:00

whee!

to fernie.

2006-04-22T00:19:00.000+08:00

This entry is dedicated to Fernie.

I love:

Your stubby fingers and toes.
Your stares and pinches when I say that your fingers and toes are stubby. And also your big big eyes when you stare. (so scary. sighs)

Your rubbish during trainings.
LTU! (REMEMBER? I do.) ,the chionging of popiah (they are spring rolls!), the rigging, the SAilors, the gay winds, you shouting to Abby and Ven "MY TEAMMATE LIKE YOUR TEAMMATE!", Your determination to sail well, and of course, the day you shouted "FUCK YOU!" at everybody's favourite bitch.

You and MP Starbucks

You shouting "WHY YOU BULLY MY TEAMMATE?" to anybody who dared to even look at us.

You going "I think I look ugly today"

But more importantly,

The beautiful you.

Because nobody cares if you have french loaves for fingers (HA!) or no toenails (HAHA!) or even sunburnt eyelids (HAHAHA!).

Because inside, you're more beautiful than any of those girls with a perfect body or a pretty face. They're just a pretty face, a perfect body.

Because you are real, you think, you feel. You have a temper, you know you make mistakes,
You learn from it.

Because you're made of stronger stuff than you think you're made of. And fuck that Nalgene bottle. Fuck that ungrateful bastard.

You have me. (and Nick, if you really wanna catch that movie.)
And lots of other people who truly love you for who you are, stubby fingers and toes included.

:) Love loads girl.
I heart Fernie!

Beatrix is three.

2006-04-20T18:14:00.000+08:00

Beatrix is three

At the top of the stairs
I ask for her hand. Okay.
She gives it to me.
How her fist fits my palm,
A bunch of consolation.
We take our time
Down the steep carpetway
As I wish silently
That the stairs were endless.
- Adrian Mitchell

Been wanting to post this poem awhile now, for it was totally what I felt that night when I gave Joy her Hello Kitty bag and Hello Kitty candy. :)

As much as you want time to stop, you know it doesn't.

Dear you,

There are people around who care about you more than you think they do. We love you, much more than whatever that sick perverted bastard did.

*Hugs. I'm here k, I will always be. (Not for display purposes only)

Love,
Steffie.

(And you, thanks for being sooo nice. (Although I still stand firm on my ground that all men are bastards.) heh.)

2006-04-17T23:30:00.000+08:00

"I feel suffocated," he said. Oh well, tell me about it. Go ahead.

I think.

Finally the tears came. The feeling of tears -- always so queer, yet familiar.

The heat behind the eyes, the turn of the nose, the eventual wetness of the cheeks. She knew, that everything would be alright. Sooner.

"But I'm not emo!" she cried.

After some time, ten chapters, for that matter, she died. As much as Anna wanted a miracle, the miracle never came. She was to die, whether she liked it or not.

And so the form said, "Next-of-kin". Why did you put Mother before Father?
She-doesn't-fucking-know.
How would she know? It's like how we swear we'd never be our parents but end up being exact replicas of them. How disturbing.

Dreamt of Ms Ruk's daughter last night. She's grown up, about 2 (that's her age now anyway), and can speak 3-word- sentences. I saw her soft curls, innocent eyes, little lips and held her tiny hands. It's so odd that of all people, I dreamt of her. And she said, "See, apple." The sweetest picture, ever.

It's a sign to remind us how we get caught up with life and forget the finer parts of it.

Doubt thou that the stars are fire;
Doubt thou that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt that I love.
-William Shakespeare, Hamlet

(I believe I've ever mentioned that Shakespeare should have been selfish and kept his works to himself. But oh well, my friend William here does have some pretty good works which would have been a shame to hide. I take back my "Shakespeare should have been selfish" argument and replace it with a "Shakespeare should have been selectively selfish" argument.)

Bliss is sitting at Starbucks Siglap while on MC, sipping mocha frap with coffee jelly with your favourite alien, in absolute comfortable silence and knowing she feels exactly the same way. Cheers banana, love thee. It still amazes me how our thoughts get lost in the silence. The comfortable, beautiful silence. Is golden.

I digress, look what she just told me:
"as much as i dont like munjens i like to eat using chopsticks. although i cant use them properly"
You're hopeless. And bloody racist, I must add.

Did you know all firemen go to heaven?
Because they'll put out all the fires in hell.

Enough emo for tonight. Might not have enough to last for the rest of my life if I carry on.
:)

Night all.

Wait, I wish my nails had OCD so they'd clean themselves. Then I wouldn't have to go find that damned nail polish remover. Oh bother.

2006-04-17T01:03:00.000+08:00

It's always how we blame everything around us but deep inside we know that it is still us to blame.

I was reminded of how my boy-kills-parents-plays-psychological-games story hasn't been progressing,
or how I haven't finished writing The Mystery of the Third Papaya.

Hana, we seriously need to get started. :)

I realised I haven't been properly talking to people I want to talk to. I should start making an effort. Lazy bum.

I love hk.

I love nice weather, I love nice food, I love nice company, I love shopping.

No doubt,

I love hk.

The post that got eaten up looked something like that. I think. :)

Anyway, I will post a proper hk entry soon I hope.

Thanks Ching, Kalipook and Best friend for making the trip a great one. I had lots of fun.

***

It just amazes me how coincidental life can get.

One mistake, just one mistake, it could cost a long long time. *coughs*willy*coughs*

The dangers of alcohol children, never underestimate it.

It's back to work tomorrow. And I'm so not looking forward to it. It's not like I don't enjoy my job, but the thought of meeting more aunties, I don't know, I don't seem in the mood to do it.

Did I mention an Auntie actually SCRATCHED me that day? Gosh, she must have been pretty excited. Chill dudette, it's only a clover.

You don't know how grateful I am to have you around. :) Thanks.

And I love my best friend because she's learnt how to erase eyebags(and pimples). Pretty smart thing to learn to do, if you asked me.

Hana, there is no such thing as accidentally purposely. Some people should just be locked up and not be allowed to walk on this planet, or own a mobile phone, for this matter. Dude, learn to think before you speak. Or is it just the way you think?

Damn it.

Shake it like a polaroid picture.

Life's like this. Up down, turn around.
like a sine curve. Sine sine cosine pi.

I shall go read. The book is getting interesting.

Nights all. Love loads. <3

2006-04-16T20:18:00.000+08:00

WA LAO.

Blogger ate my post. rar. very hungry siaa.

...

Grumbles.

Thank god it was a short post or else i'll just eat blogger up. HA.

Nvm.

I wanted to say, sheesh I've forgotten.

WA LAO.

TSK

pet

2006-04-08T22:47:00.000+08:00

I am not your fucking pet daughter.

Have a good week, all.

sentosa!

2006-04-04T22:57:00.000+08:00

I had the loveliest day ever. :)

Tried the luge at Sentosa. It was great, could have been faster though.

Tanned at a private beach, which was extremely relaxing, (note, I fell asleep)

Spent the evening curled up watching movies.

I could do this more often you know. And get used to it.

:)

Thanks for the pretty lilies as well.

It's a great start. Definitely.

***
Cheryl and Fernie were just saying "I got home early today"

Read the next line,

"So that I can go to zouk tmr"

Omg, these girls are horrible. :) I still love them anyway.

2006-04-02T03:11:00.000+08:00

I've been so severely auntie-fied I bet I'll start speaking auntish in no time.

"xiao jie ke yi gei discount ma?" "XIAO JIE KE YI GEI DISCOUNT MA?"

omg, bu ke yi bu ke yi bu ke yi!!

If I had the chance I would just killed that ah pek on the spot.

ONE WEEK TO HK! **excited

I haven't been blogging properly in like, forever. Lost the momentum to write coherently ady.

I miss HANABANANA's nice little blog entries. You should start another blog and make sure it doesn't crash hun.

Anyhow, JIAWEI, you're missed as well. :)

Oh, I met the guides and scouts for dinner. :) It was lovely. We were discussing how our kids would turn out like and it just tickled to think how mini-Houstons or mini-Weiliangs or mini-Bers or mini-Letties would turn out.

Watched The Hills have Eyes thereafter, but I suppose it disappointed quite badly. Gothic movie, no doubt. Especially the ending. (Which reminds me of how Ms Kon always did the "you'll never watch a movie the same way again" rubbish) But so typical I fell asleep.

It was gory enough though. Ecks. I swear their sponsor was Maggi chilli sauce or something. Free one. Everywhere also got blood. eeeeeeeee.

So we had to split up, me, houston and ber together. It was hilarious. Half the movie it was just three of us taking turns to go "What the fuck?" I think people around us were either severely annoyed or just sharing our sentiments.

I would have enjoyed watching the show with Hana I think, she'll make a joke out of anything particularly scary or gory. :) I miss you still hun. And Lynn too.

LYNN! I just wanted to ask if Jennifer Lam still wears her neon green scarf to school. :) Heh.

Sailor girls, our darling Jemjem asks if we're free on Tuesday to go wakeboarding. Reply me asap?

I've been going on and on about a new blogskin, it should happen soon.. Argh. SOON.

HK TRIP IN A WEEK! :) :) :) :) :)

But I'll be staying in the Punggol of HK, thanks to our darling Kalipook. I tell you it runs in her family. Rayner's coming back from Shanghai tmr, hopefully without a zhong guo mei, she says. lol.

Whatever has this blog got to do with RAYNER SEAH. hmmmmm.

2006-03-26T22:28:00.000+08:00

:)

What goes up must come down. But what's already down can only come up again.

So when I don't suppose things can get any worse, they wouldn't right?

I hope.

cliche

2006-03-23T12:01:00.000+08:00

Am I that much of a cliche?

2006-03-22T15:12:00.000+08:00

I've just realised that I'm rather (in)famous in TPjc.

For one, the entire PE dept knows me by name and how incredibly stupid I can get. Christie Koh actually bothered to find my records for me. :) That's one of the advantages I suppose, of being notoriously blur.

And the guy in the general office, Mr Chu I think, said "You again? Why am I not surprised?" And the cherry on the cake came from Winnie Wee. "That's so you."

wtf. Is my reputation really that bad?!

Voice in head yells, "YES!"

Okay. Nevermind, at least it got things moving faster.

Moral of the story is never lose your testimonials and by that I don't mean the friendster kind. Brings you a long ride around the school. And the thing about school is that the people in the office always say, "I think she is in the canteen."

Sigh. I thought only students hung out in the canteen? But then again, there were always people like me, who thought that canteen food sucked and found every excuse to go to the ppc (pao pao cha) shop opposite school for our daily dose of waffles and ppc. And the occasional myojo mee soto.

***

Anyhow, whoever in the world calls a Karaoke place "Teo Heng"?! Honestly, I thought they were talking about a zhi char stall or something.

Let's go to Teo Heng for sambal kang kong.

And me and Alan can't sing to save our lives. We sounded like we wanted to kill all the chickens in Thailand from Katong. whatthefuckertyfuck. I wish I had better vocals.

Successfully slaughtered the poor song as well.

:) But I had fun.

Suddenly I remember how Ms Kon always went "Dear Examiner Sir" and am amused. Fuck lah, damn random.

Okay, I'm damn sleepy. Till later!

ohdearr

2006-03-21T18:43:00.000+08:00

You really shouldn't start yelling the moment you come home from work you know.

2006-03-20T11:56:00.000+08:00

I can't believe I'm still fucking bobbing after so long!! As in, my world is still bobbing!!

See, the after effects of sitting on the race committee boat for 5 consecutive days is detrimental to my health.

Anyhow, as GORDON said I don't blog enough about him. And since this lovely GORDON only reads blogs he thinks has his name in it, I shall put his name, GORDON, in bold, itallics, underlined as well as in red, just in case GORDON misses his name out in this post. Right GORDON?

I'm blogging about GORDON because he's the only person in this world who can get 43days MC (EXTENDABLE) and still be so happy about it. But I shall be nice since he blanjah-ed us pizza the day we went to visit him at his house. Oh btw, GORDON's brother looks like a skinny version of GORDON. :)

He was at the races too!

Anyway, I must thank GORDON because he also blanjah-ed me to Fish and Co that night with Chee (er, NOT because he had vouchers). :)

So, GORDON, are you happy that your name, in bold, itallics, underlined and in red has appeared 10 times in my blog today? And wtf I look like I have a crush on him. But then again, I couldn't possibly crush him. He could crush me by sitting on me if he wanted to, but I definitely wouldn't be able to crush him. hmm. Okay not funny.

Annoyingly, I have lost my TPJC testimonials. HOW HOW HOW?! To think I was laughing at ber for losing hers. I tell you she ALWAYS jinxes me.

RAR. HOW.

sunburnt lips

2006-03-16T18:44:00.000+08:00

This was the team last night at Marche, with the exception of Khaiwan and Shaoxuan.

Amazingly we saw this guy who looked exactly like Shaoxuan. Damn freaky!

My lips are sunburnt!

I've always thought that sunburnt lips have this very cute, pouty look about them, and it gets so red it's pretty. Yes, pretty weird thing to say because they're only pouty because they are bloody hell swollen and red because they're dehydrated or something. And hell they hurt bad.

Two days of regatta and I'm tired. Sheesh, plus I'm not even racing. How I used to last 5 days straight of sailing I don't understand. I think the bobbing-on-powerboat has a great effect on people. It's like, you keep falling asleep no matter how much you try to fight to stay awake. AND I fell asleep on the bow, great move, cuz now I'm insanely burnt.

I always believed what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

So should I go back to school? I know the application's closed but I suppose I would be able to appeal, especially if I act like I really want to go back to school to take lit econs math again. Guess the keyword?

It would be the most practical way to get into a local uni, since, well, it was the reason why I came into JC the first place but got side-tracked along the way.

And maybe get myself into some jie-di lian. HAHAHA. Okay, damn random.

Oh well. :( But there'll be PE! and I'll be in the same class as Lynn. :) As we always are. The only bad point is there'll be no more Kaiwei so nobody'll buy me Cadbury Chocettes on Tuesdays. HEY, that sucks. Good enough a reason not to go to school again. Pouts. (Oh wait, I already have pouty lips.) Fine, double pouts.

I shall go for a walk.

13/3

2006-03-13T18:12:00.000+08:00

Never in my life have I felt so fucking wronged;
up to the point what I just sat there and smiled.

Fuck you. :)

back.

2006-03-08T03:41:00.000+08:00

Hello humans, I'm back. Couldn't resist the itch to write/type.

Anyway, I'm thinking of moving this blog elsewhere, where there are less prying eyes. But honestly, I don't even know who actually reads this blog anymore, after taking the tagboard off aeons ago and not having a site meter. Gosh.

So maybe there are no prying eyes to be cautious about. :) Paranoia at it's peak, if you asked me. Barney always talked about imagination. Damn it, the bloody purple dinosaur IS from our imagination.

I know, I'm always living in denial. Up to this point, I still am. I don't know. This is the way I protect myself I suppose.

I'm very tempted to put up The Fish Drowned in the Traffic Jam and Peanut Butter blogskin. I kinda miss the ugly fishes at the top. This blogskin is getting a little too.. white and black? :)

**Suddenly I'm hit by this incredible urge to eat sushi. grumbles. And sashimi as well.

As I was saying, what was I saying?, oh, yes, I should relocate this blog.

I have never been thrown with so many possibilities before, and to tell the truth, I always make the wrong decisions. Gosh. What should I actually do with my silly little life now?

:) But at the moment, life is at it's peak.

I do actually enjoy the little coffee jelly cubes from Starbucks.

Oh, off days are a paradox. I got a free off day today, thanks to my manager who sent me the wrong schedule for the week. Highly amusing actually. :) He sent me something that looked suspiciously like best friend's schedule. Chuckles.

And they're paradoxical because sometimes you're suddenly at a lost, not knowing what to do with so much free time on your hands.

But of course there are always lovely people like kalipook and rayner and alan to make the day better. :) And hanabanana as the ever-worthy cinema mate.

Check out the title man. The most random of Random Musings.

Anyway, fyi Hana, I still haven't finished The Curse of the Third Papaya. I should stop reading Agatha Christie for the moment, after trying to finish her collection of short stories for the longest time ever.

And I never finished reading James Frey. Too disturbing for my own good.

Alright it's time for bed. I wanna blade tomorrow, or rather, later. Been feeling like a blob of fats lately. Horrible.

hiatus.

2006-03-01T00:19:00.000+08:00

on hiatus.

Letters to Nobody.

2006-02-24T02:03:00.000+08:00

Having been long misused by rough people they have learnt to conceal their seductive charms under a mask of repulsive ugliness. It is only to their lovers, among whom I count myself, that they reveal their true selves.

Letters to nobody.

Dear you,
I can't help you as much as I want to, because it's ultimately not up to me. But I want you to know that there are people who care for you more than you think. There's a danger in loving somebody too much.
Love, Steffie.

Dear you,
Get well soon. Rest more. I'll go visit you soon and dance my signature dance with my fingers. :)
Love, Steffie.

Dear you,
You owe me a long overdue treat when you get your first pay. :)
Love, Steffie.

Dear you,
Where is my darling Elephony and Emilie?
Love, Steffie

Dear you,
I miss the Cadbury Chocettes that you'll get me on Tuesdays. And more importantly, you.
Love, Steffie

Dear you,
I love you. Don't worry, nobody will dare to hurt you. I'll be here.
Love, Steffie

Dear you,
Why don't we talk anymore?
Love, Steffie

Dear you,
Because of you, I'm the last one standing. I wish you the best anyway. :)
Love, Steffie

Dear you,
Econs? Can eat?
Love, Steffie

Dear you,
Can you sing the barney song yet?
Love, Steffie

Dear you,
I don't like Indigo anymore. Let's go someplace else.
Love, Steffie

Dear you,
I would willing bring you to any playground in the world, only if you ask.
Love, Steffie

Dear you,
mthrksmsks!
Love, Steffie

Dear you,
Luck for your coming tests!
Love, Steffie

Dear you,
One day I will go to kalipook to find you.
Love, Steffie

Dear you,
Na nu hai dui wo shuo, shuo wo shi yi ge xiao tou.
Love, Steffie

Dear you,
Remember to yong zham de.
Love, Steffie

Dear you,
I find myself thinking too much of you.
Love, Steffie

Dear you,
Happy Belated Thinking Day.
Love, Steffie

Dear you,
Maybe it's time to be more blatant about things.
Love, Steffie

Dear you,
Who are you?

Love, Steffie.

susan hill

2006-02-23T00:25:00.000+08:00

I just remembered. I'm the King of the Castle is by Susan Hill.

Anyway I've got off tomorrow.. Again.

I vaguely remember that I wanted to blog about something. But then again, I forgot.

So it mustn't be something particularly important.

High time I got a new blogskin anyway. All in favour say "ay!"

AY!

So anyway, met the girls, correction, minah and banana (bananas are inanimate) for lunch yesterday at the airport. Heh. The point I wanted to make was. LYNN WAS IN FBTS! NOT ME NOT ME!! See, I'm a decent girl.

"Write a 2000 word essay on why penguins can't fly and evaluate the degree in which their inability to fly is in contrast to the ostrich."

HURR. See. The investigation of natural flight!

Alright I'm uber high now. Effects of what? I don't know.

STONEGRILL? LOL.

Everyday............ I EAT STONEGRILL.......

Night everybody.

THEY HIRED A DISHWASHER!! :) :) :) :)

Sheesh, I'm incoherent. :) :) I think it's because of the newly-hired dishwasher.

barney.

2006-02-21T02:23:00.000+08:00

This entry is dedicated to Walter:

Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination
When he’s tall he’s what we call a dinosaur sensation
Barney teaches lots of things like how to play pretend
A-B-C’s and 1-2-3’s and how to be a friend

Barney comes to play with us
Whenever we may need him
Barney can be your friend too
If you just make believe him

Yes, I stumbled upon the lyrics to the stupid Barney theme song. And this is dedicated to our darling Walter who's out at field camp now. :)

***

4 books that changed you

I'm the King of the Castle (Fuck, I can't remember the author)
The first book that actually introduced me to the evils that children are capable of. And I was pretty shocked. And got me really morbid thoughts. Not to mention an O level text.

Tuesdays with Morrie, Mitch Albom.
First book that actually made me cry. And suddenly life seemed a little more easy to cope with, when you live each day like it's your last.

Five People You Meet In Heaven, Mitch Albom.
That everybody is so intricately connected, just that we don't realise it. And that we should never, ever doubt our self-worth.

~~Silas Marner, George Eliot~~
HAHA, of no literal worth to me (I'm not implying that Silas Marner has no literal worth), except for the fact that it drove me nuts when I tried reading it for the very first time.

Matilda, Roald Dahl.
I've never stopped believing that I do have special powers, using my eyes. Some childhood thing that stays with you forever I suppose.

4 people you've met that changed your life

Best friend,
for obvious reasons. I love and hate her at the same time. I hate the way she's so brutally honest with me. I hate the way she smashes my ego. I hate the way she likes to boast about her achievements and make me jealous. I love the way she's brutally honest with me. I am thankful for the way she smashes my ego. And her boasting spurs me on.. sometimes. And she has changed my life. For the better.

Hanabanana,
for bringing out that morbid, yet immensely loving side of me. Yes, oxymoronic it might seem.
I don't know, the way she's taught me to keep friends I suppose. How she would sms to make sure I'm alive. And yes, I've started this habit to take the extra effort to be sure that my other friends are alive.

Khaiwan, (Or Khai Wan for that matter, he always got annoyed when I didn't put the space in his name so sometimes I spelt it as Khaispacewan just to irritate him.)
for obvious reasons as well. He taught me to love, he brought out the jealous, possessive side of me for awhile, before patiently teaching me to tame it. I still love him, in a very affectionate manner, but not in anyway romantic. For all the lessons that he (and his very cute family) taught me.

Kaiwei,
it may seem surprising, but after thinking for so long, yes, Kaiwei. He changed me because he taught me the meaning of giving wholeheartedly. To be there silently. Silently, but faithfully. He was there, he let me be the little girl that I wanted to be while guiding me along. He taught me to give. :) And he always bought me chocolates.

4 philosophical worldviews that you found feasible at one point of your life or another

All men are bastards
Self-love
~~World peace~~ This is not a bloody beauty contest honey.
True love doesn't exist, convenience does.
World peace. One point of life or another, I think I was 4.

4 in the morning and I still can't fall asleep.

dislocated ankle

2006-02-20T12:43:00.000+08:00

So I did get half day leave yesterday and my off day today. :)

But of course, at a price. My left ankle had swollen to the size of an elephant's foot or something. And I was tearing because of the pain while washing the dishes that the chefs were quite scared of me. hahhaa.

So, incredibly, even with a full house in the evening, they let me off. phew. But apparently the dinner crowd was so mad and Kelvin, Ber and Dominic had to rush their tired bodies. Mad. Mad. Mad.

And I found out that my ankle had been dislocated. HAHA. No wonder swollen lah! Damn it. But then again if my ankle hadn't been swollen I probably would have to wait till I die before I get an off day.

At this current moment, I'm marvelling at the wonders of TV and how Singaporeans actually flock to a particular place after it being featured on the box. mad. Mad. MAD.

We did have a dishwasher come in on Friday night. He ran away. HE RAN AWAY! OUR DISHWASHER RAN AWAY! :( So now, we still have to wash the many many many many dishes, dislocated ankle or not.

Thank God Onho came down on Saturday to help us wash the dishes. :) I owe him one. lol.

Anyhow, I've realised that money can buy you everything but cabs. You can have all the money in the world, standing at the kerb, waving for a cab. But, alas, they will not stop for you. Call the cab company, but they will always not have enough operators. :)

I've realised that what Lorraine your friend ah said was true. That you lose some of your independence in the end. And feel lonely and somewhat dependent. I do feel that loneliness today.

Oh well.

2006-02-18T04:08:00.000+08:00

Hana is ALWAYS annoying right about such stuff. growls.

But anyway, I just got home from work again. It's just OT OT all the way. :( And tv is seriously very very very influential.

My throat is still sore, my ankles still swollen, my nose still blocked. This is rotten.

And I don't think I can go on MC, or leave, for that matter, anytime soon. This is SO rotten.

I hate it when you're right Hana. It's uber annoying!! Or have I mentioned that already. But at this moment, I suppose it IS retribution, in a way. :( :( sighs.
Call me when you can alright? It's been work work and WORK I haven't got time to properly talk to you. And I think you do need some help.

Cheryl, call me again alright, I was working that day. (SEE! WORKING AGAIN!) I really wanna hear about your day. ;)

I am craving for a thick, moist, rich dark chocolate cake, with Marks and Spencer's dark chocolate and milo peng. I need my milo peng. Gosh, what's with all the chocolate? Must be the sore throat. :)

I miss going to Siglap for happiness. And my lovely slogan, "Happiness can be bought at $5.25".

vday

2006-02-17T12:58:00.000+08:00

I got the sweetest Vday present ever! :) :)

A sore throat, swollen ankles, headache and a cold that's lasted till today. yay!

And I still had to work the day after.

Thank God I passed my btt or else that might have been the lovely cherry on my cake. Then again, after all that practice on the stupid etrial thing.

Anyway, I've been having dreams.
Always the same, but always different.

:( I'm tired and grumpy.
I'm gonna break down soon enough.

2006-02-14T00:21:00.000+08:00

It's utter madness to be working in a flower shop the night before Valentines'.

UTTER MADNESS.

Just now while standing in the shop I turned around and saw flowers.
Looked down and saw flowers.
Looked up and saw FLOWERS.

Omg, flowers EVERYWHERE!

I don't even dare to drink bundung already.

:) Happy Valentines' all.

of flowers.

2006-02-12T22:19:00.000+08:00

Unless she's genuinely allergic, if she tells you she doesn't need flowers this Valentines, she's one helluva liar.

I do not believe that any girl would not like to recieve flowers.

I've been selling flowers, and I get jealous everytime a guy comes in and orders a bouquet of flowers. Roses, lilies, sunflowers, tulips. Any kind of flowers, I feel a slight prick inside.

Yes, it's that big V again.

Of course, I can choose to stick my nose up in the air, flick my hair and say,
"Valentines' is so commercialised and overrated! Who needs a guy?"

But then again, there will be people who go,
"If we love each other, everyday is Valentines'. You're such a sour grape!" -insert sickeningly sweet lovey dovey smug looks-

Of course, Valentines' IS commercialised and overrated, but we can't help if people judge how loved you are by the size of the bouquet nestled in your arms.

But what I really want this Valentines' is something that I dare not even think of, for the disappointment might be too great.

Life is a funny thing.

The people you meet are here for a reason. To help, to guide, to learn from, to leave an impression.

Yesterday was one good example. Never in my life would I think that I would have to travel to Bukit Panjang alone, but the occasion came.

And God sent someone that I just knew very recently to help me. And yes, for the first time in my life I took the LRT from Choa Chu Kang! I know I sound damn stupid, but I hardly ever travel to places I'm not familiar with alone. hurr.

...and the magic is lost.

Sometimes I act so passive I wonder what would happen if I take a more active approach to certain circumstances. And all the "what ifs" will race around in my already very small head, chasing each other, each seeming as likely as the last.

That is a horrible feeling, in a very secure manner, if you understand what I mean.

My best friend has a new best friend, which is a dishwasher. Gosh, I'm not even comparable to an inanimate object.

2006-02-11T00:11:00.000+08:00

So...

Now Steffie's gotten herself another part time job for the weekend.

As?

A florist.

Chuckles.

In 3 weeks I've tried f&b, photography and now, being a florist.
Jack of all trades, master of none.

But only for the weekend, Valentine's crowd you see. Figured that since I wouldn't be recieving any flowers, why not sell them? hurr.

So today I went to learn to arrange flowers and wrap bouquets.

NOT EASY!!

And you need a sense of imagination as well. :)

One of these days I shall go back and find Mr Dava, just to listen to him go "YOU MONKEY!"

models

2006-02-08T23:35:00.000+08:00

So it's horribly depressing to work with models.

And sometimes you feel murderous too.

Especially when this stick thin model comes to you and say "I think I look fat in this."

You'll be like. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! inside but outside you're like *on cue* smile smile. "No lah, where got?"

So yah, this couple of days I've been doing part-time for a friend, being his personal assistant. He's a photographer by the way.

I'm the one doing the IT stuff, loading up photos, helping models dress up, making sure they don't zhao geng, holding the sequence of clothes, lugging around the shoes, the tripod, the lights, taking care of logistics, making sure the models know where they're going, cleaning dirty shoes, helping models walk on grass, make sure they don't fall down... etc.

Actually the whole paragraph can be summarised into 4 words:
Ultimate Sai Gang Warrior.

But I enjoy it. Tell me I'm weird.

Steffie you're weird.

Oh by the way Hana, the shooting at these couple of days have been at Perfect in Black. All the nice black clothes, since we were at the HQ, where the designs are made, and the samples are. Day in day out, black black black.

Anyhow, yesterday was mahjong at Ber's. :) So happy.
Stayed over after that, and rushed to work this morning.

Heh, part time here, part time there. Quite fun ah? From waitressing to photo-shooting.

Tomorrow I'm going to look for a school to relief teach for a couple of days, just to try it. :) I know I'm mad.

six degrees of separation.

2006-02-07T00:22:00.000+08:00

It always never fails to amaze me how intricately connected all our lives are, even if it doesn't seem so at first.

Like how I managed to help a guy get home by 12 because Kelvin had to meet his friend early.

Kelvin (waiter at Stonegrill), usually stays later than me to wash the dishes (yes, he's the resident ah neh, like I'm the resident kopi-soh/yu-sheng person). Today, the roles were changed because he had to leave early, so I stayed on to help wash the dishes.

I left later, so I took a later bus. Walking to the gate, there was a guy sitting by the gate, looking pretty sad.

When I approached, he jumped up and grinned at me. (hell, gave me quite a fright actually, bloody hell 11.45 in the night got this guy sit outside my condo come and grin at me) And said, "I forgot to bring my card. You're my blessing tonight." Look here, I would never dream of being somebody's blessing, so yah, it kinda brightened up my day. :)

Turns out this guy lives in my block, 3 floors above. I've forgotten his name, but he seems like quite a nice chap. :) Not local though, has the Jan accent.

Anyway, it struck me then how, if I had left Stonegrill early, if Kelvin hadn't have to meet his friend, that the poor guy would be still sitting there, waiting for somebody to go home late today.

Six degrees of separation.

On another note, **I was going to type something but I've forgotten.
Oh shit, I really can't remember what I was going to say already!! grumbles.

It's a blessing to be sitting on the bus alone, eating maltesers, and messaging your favourite alien. :)

ti gong also must eat.

2006-02-06T13:16:00.000+08:00

Thought I'd just pop by and say a few things before I die of hunger.

I've decided to become a xian nu, because I'm pretty certain that I'm turning immortal. I've been living on one meal a day.
Dad has decided to speed up this process by eating all the instant noodles I buy, so that everytime I go hungry, I stay hungry since there's nothing at home to eat.
Better still, Mum's at home, but she's quite sure that she wants to go on a diet. So she doesn't want to bring me out to have lunch.

So now, I've decided to become immortal, a fairy at that. So at least I'll be pretty even if I die of hunger.

Bloody hell, even ti gong also must eat you know?

:) Have a nice day all.

MoS

2006-02-05T16:39:00.000+08:00

Finally, after so long, we get to say...

JING TIAN DE WIND HEN GAY!!

So many things happened during training yesterday, must have been Murphy's Law in action.

Of course, there had to be a storm during our first training since God-knows when. And very gay winds. Helm had to leave early, so I was crewing with Fernie when the wind picked up.

We capped, partially because it was my fault that I was hungry so I was eating coco crunch (with the great chocolatey taste!) and decided to heck boat balance. And while we uprighted the boat I had to throw half a packet of coco crunch away! (SOBS, I traded my breakfast for my life)

Fernie has 420ophobia, so in the end I had to helm the boat. And by the time we uprighted the boat we'd drifted to.. my house. Wow.

She was damn scared (I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE! -grins at Cheryl), and I think the 420's normal speed was already quite scary for her. She kept telling me to relax. So on our way back we met these Topper sailors, who were I think sailing for the first time. This guy was so scared, he kept shouting to us "My boat can't move!"

And then me and Fernie were like "Follow our point of sail!" but to no avail, I think he doesn't understand points of sail yet.

But anyway, on our way back this powerboat came along and towed us. So embarassing, year 3 already still get towed.

Only to find out that our trolley pin had been stolen. Whichever asshole stole my trolley pin is such a horrible person!! GRUMBLES.

And we had a trolley mix-up with VJ.

AND highlight of the day, we managed to lose an entire bunch of labelled keys. IT WAS MAD. Frantically finding the bunch of keys. Kalipook zai. Her memory has this blank that can't be filled.

So Wee-incent Lee, already doubting our competence to sail, told us "I am not angry with you." HAHAHA. cher you bedek.

Had this really long, naggy lecture with Wee-incent, which, briefly summarised, meant "Don't ever come back and fuck up my training ever again". And we have to pay for the lock-smith to open up all the lockers and change the locks or else we can't keep our equipment. SIGHS.

We got to eat ban mian at Parkway after that! I mean, BAN MIAN AFTER TRAINING! Damn shiok can.

:)

Happy Birthday Cheryl! Hope you enjoyed yourself last night.

Sorry I'm such a nuisance sometimes. Damn lousy. hurr.
Eunice be my tutor please?

Anyway, I had to climb out of bed today to go to work. Crap shit. Of all days to have an early shift the day where I don't have enough sleep. Grumbles.

Thank God I don't get hangovers.

Oh yah, and I chionged POPIAH yesterday! Didn't get to drink the "in" thing though. I don't think I make sense to anybody except the sailors, so yah. :)

I think this is a very long entry!
I actually narrated my day!
YAY!

ps. I'm turning immortal.

rantings.

2006-02-03T15:05:00.000+08:00

It's fun isn't it?

I haven't done much of those monologue-ish posts for sometime now.

It's funny how you seem to know that person, yet not know at the same time. You think you've got the picture, only to find out that it's not complete. Not even near complete, for that matter.

You've turned my world upside down.
Stupidly checking my phone. All the time.

zai.

I am going to explode with all this tension within.

Yes, rant rant rant. Turning into some angsty person, with all the emotions that are conflicting within. Life doesn't give you black and white. Some idiot had to put in the greys, just to make it more interesting.

Like how Shakespeare was this really bored guy who wrote plays to amuse himself. I still stand firm on my ground that such people should just be selfish and not publish their plays for the world to see, and study.

She laughs at my dreams but I dream of her laughter.

Work tonight.

Sailing tomorrow. That Wee-incent Lee is driving me up the wall.
Yes you have all the right in the world sir, to make things difficult for us, after all, all we did was to represent the school in the regatta and nationals and it's quite natural for you to doubt our competence to sail the boat. Of course, it is more than necessary to do such things, and the amount of paperwork that you'll make us go through.

I want to go to Sentosa and tan.
I want to waste my time.

My sis is watching Full House. She's laughing non-stop. haa.

I forgot. Happy Birthday Grandboo.

so there.

2006-02-03T00:42:00.000+08:00

Paradoxical don't you think?

That how much I would like to put it into words, I can't.

It's so hard to fathom.

So damn hard.

Would you believe me?
Would you?
Could you?

Will I even get down to telling you?
It seems like forever and a day.

I fell asleep while watching a movie today. And fuck I dreamt of work.

And thank God she knows me personally. All the unnecessary trouble I've put her through. She said "Don't talk about it and make me hate you." Thanks Lynn, for defending me. Although I give you all the right in the world to hate me anyway. I give you the permission to call me "that fucking bitch" as well, but don't use the nbcb okay? :)

Oh well. Do you know?

Cheers to 7 years to friendship and many more to come dears. :)

Jasmine,
Continue knitting. Though I still don't understand, JIAYOU!
Lettie,
Have fun at work, all good things must come to an end. :)
Gummy,
We used to bully our teachers anyway.
Michelle,
Thanks for the alcohol. And luck for your test tomorrow.
Stacey,
Take care of your health, rest more!
Ching,
Have fun at work!
Ber,
Luck for your BTT tomorrow.

Love you girls.

Happy Birthday Jiawei dearest.
It's been, 4 years? :) Dinner's on me tomorrow. By the way, we still owe Tok a photo of both of us. hurr. Math rocks my socks.

Kim and Sabrina,
Sorry I couldn't make it today. I haven't seen Sab in ages!! I miss the both of you. Especially times where Sab would bring BLOCKS of chocolate to school to share. Or drool on her special pillow in class. And debate.

The glamourous Artsix,
Lunch this Saturday at Marina Square Seoul Garden. Spread the message around. :)

Sailors, (since I'm at it,)
Whatever that happens, ji de yong zham de!! I sincerely miss hearing you guys say "jing tian de wind hen gay" or "wo men qu chiong chicken wing". And Ah Tat's classic pep talk.

I'm rambling, but I'm afraid that one day I would explode.